[Meta]physics

“The majority of people have blockages in the orange and yellow rays. Sexually, this often manifests as a type of possessive type of love.

I just keep coming back here because I’ve blocked everything else. I’m so fucking bored, wtf. I need to make my work more enjoyable than interacting with people. That’s the ultimate goal. My work has to be preferred over people. Maybe that’s why I like relationships. Existence can be so boring. But I didn’t used…

The ability to be submissive is beyond just submitted to the man in your life, but submitting to life itself. I’ve always had this desire to control the outcome of things, even now, being in a new relationship with this man, and all I think about is how I can “control” it. What steps I…

Admit to yourself that you don’t want to lose them, that you would be sad if they were gone and that you want to be with them. Admit that to yourself and stop telling yourself that you’re stronger without them, they don’t want you to be stronger without them. They want you stronger with them.…

It seems like too much work for no return. My dreams don’t get fulfilled here. Nothing happens. I just talk to this black board. I was trying to speak math in plain English. No markdown, no Latex. It’s an oral exam you know.

You’re going to ask: how did she do it? I was never good at math. That is the secret I kept to myself. I was an imposter. There is no mistake about that. But I was determined. The basis of my trajectory was already laid out for me. I didn’t want to do it. I…

This time I’m reading it out of Tao’s book Introduction to Measure Theory. I’m thinking of a set that is Lebesgue measurable but not Jordan measurable. Okay, well what are the sets that aren’t Jordan measurable? What was so limiting about the Jordan measure? Well first of all the Jordan measure requires cubes to approximate…

I’m not unhappy when I’m around him. He’s not trying to lecture me or talk down to me. Oh you don’t do that? Okay, whatever you don’t do that. I don’t care. I don’t care the justification, rationalization or reason. There is no defense. There is no argument. I don’t want to be with you.…