People have stopped believing in love altogether.

Sidenote: People don’t want to be told what to think explicitly, but they do like being told what to think. You just have to do it in a way where they’re not aware they’re being told what to think.

Why do people want to be told what to think? Because there is just too much conflicting information now. Thinking for ourselves takes too much processing power, and if you are out of practice, or never trained yourself to do it, it’s actually incredibly difficult to do.

I’ve been out of mathematics for 3 months now, and I am already stupider when it comes to abstract reasoning about mathematics. I couldn’t even read the physics textbook without getting a headache.

Look, I want to help him. But I only want to help people who want my help. I only want to be around people who want me around. I only want what others want.

Finding a compatible partner boils down to finding someone who wants the same things as you without having to work so farking hard to do it. People who just are in tune with you. This is what “complementary” means.

I love how needy Jason is, to be honest. And it’s not because I’m insecure, I just love that about him. I love giving him all of my attention because I’m an intense person who has a lot of attention to give. My thoughts, mind and actions move so fucking quickly (high IQ, highly sensitive, overexcitabilities) that someone who can handle the fact that I gave out a lot of emotion would be great. Someone that requires that from me, will be fulfilled and satisfied by me, because it doesn’t drain me to do it. Even better, the more I output, the more I’m able to output, it actually plays on itself.

He wants that. I know he does. And maybe he doesn’t realize (or maybe he does) that we can and would get wrapped up in each other. I can talk to him all day, still be able to write and create music, still be able to do all of the shit I normally do, because I have that capability. A needy guy from me…

Okay yeah I may get exhausted by it, just like we physically *have* to take a break from sex, but the breaks are just as good. Rests are good in a song, pauses are good. Breaks are good. Distance is good.

2 responses to “People have stopped believing in love altogether.”

  1. The scary thing about this period March 2020 – December 2020 is that I was psychotically manic the entire time and yet my writing doesn’t reflect that. So where is the discrepancy? I sound logical when I write. My thoughts string together cohesively. But audio… well… that may be another story.