Treating people like experiences and not connections
People as objects or conquests
But if someone told me I had to live in the same city for the rest of my life, I’d regret it. I feel trapped even thinking about it, and that’s why I would never commit to a home, never thought of owning a home and never wanted to settle down anywhere. When a city or a place got to difficult, I would simply move. And I’ve lived all over the world, I’ve tried living in various places.
Then… I fell in love. I have a home base, and that is where everything I love will be. But I will still travel, and wander.
I would never trap someone. If that sort of anxiety happens to men when they have to commit to sexual gratification from one person, then I don’t want to ever do that to someone.
This is why I practice non-monogamy. I have my means of being non-monogamous. For instance, I’m a polymath, which means I date and fuck all kinds of subjects.
In graduate school, I was told I had to get married to mathematics. And I tried, but I cheated on math with every subject I could: neuroscience, biology, musicology, literature, dance, economics, japanese, computer science, philosophy… all of them.
I eventually decided to get married to physics, as it is broad enough of a subject that I can still study the others. Physics gives me the freedom to study the rest. I want to study math? There’s mathematical physics. I want to study biology? There’s biophysics. I want study linguistics and philosophy? There’s metaphysics. Economics? Applied physics.
I can classify anything as physics under this marriage, and so that’s what I chose. Defining myself by anything else, or trying to, was giving me an identity crisis, so I picked one… and I continue to cheat.
Maybe there isn’t anything wrong with cheaters, maybe some of us just didn’t know what we wanted, or the conditions that were placed upon us didn’t fit, so we were looking for ways to define ourselves, to become who *we* want to be, not what society tells us to be.
My soul mate is a serial cheater, and he fucks all kinds of women, and loves and appreciates sex with men too. To the rest of society, he is ill-suited to be a long-term partner, but for me, he is perfect. A man who is sexually dedicated to me, will lose my interest. Just like if I had to dedicate my intellectual pursuits to one subject.
And because I love him so much, I would never tell him to change. I can’t. His hypersexuality makes him, him. And I love everything about it. There is no compromise here. Just like he loves me for all of the subjects I like to mind fuck, I love him for all the people he likes to fuck.
What is the soul of a man?