Somewhere I associate the phrase “I love you” with someone bad. I don’t like hearing it and my feelings diminish when I do. Somewhere in time, someone said “I love you” and it wasn’t the love I needed.

So where in time is that?

YouTube told me to stop eating, so I have to stop at least for a while. The place is closed tomorrow and I can feel that I don’t actually want food anyway and I think it’s fucking up my consciousness. I need clarity. Seriously.

But I would have blocked him by now, right? And he does things to reassure me.

Like. The petition. He knew that I was insecure about him not wanting to declare that we exist together, even as friends, so he made his name known. He wanted that.

And why is the damn dog named Jason? And why does this shit happen at all?

I just keep writing.


He’s catching up now. He started thinking about Rick and Morty though I’ve been sending him Rick and Morty for the last two weeks I think. So he’s getting to mid-June or early June. Okay.

Idk, man but when I see BLM I think “Blaise Loves Mizu” so…