I don’t believe in myself.

My skin looks horrible. I am so angry at how my life is going right now. I hate everything including my job, my skin, the fact I’m not in my own place, living here and constantly cleaning up after people, the poor food, the stress of work, having to ride my bike to work, my depression, applying for job after job just to be hired and not given the hours I requested or can’t work the days that I want and don’t want, have to come in and leave when they tell me, have to ask permission to go to the bathroom. I want to be free. I don’t want to feel like I don’t have control over myself and my life. I was literally happier when I was homeless. Now, I’m trapped here like anyone else. I used to be a minimalist who would just travel wherever and do whatever. My laptop and my backpack was all I had and I moved around. It felt freeing that way, to do it that way. My skin looks horrid. It’s never been this bad before and I’m sad because of that. I don’t have my fucking car. I don’t have my car. It’s not like I can go for a drive when I’m feeling down. It’s not like I can go visit another town or another state, or even another country when I want. I’m stuck here. I want to die every single fucking day. EVERY FUCKING DAY.

I hate it here so much. I’m so fucking angry.