May 16, 2020

Admit to yourself that you don’t want to lose them, that you would be sad if they were gone and that you want to be with them. Admit that to yourself and stop telling yourself that you’re stronger without them, they don’t want you to be stronger without them. They want you stronger with them. They want you stronger because of them.

What is courage? Courage is knowing that it’s going to fail but doing it anyway. Courage is knowing that they will leave you, that you will be heartbroken and that it will end, but you love still. Everyday you risk them leaving, growing bored of you, finding someone else, or worse, going back to the one they loved before. But you do all of this anyway.

Fuck. Love is scary shit dude.

I haven’t learned much of anything. I still go after guys who want nothing to do with me in that way, and that’s because I enjoy challenges. This is a game to me. What the fuck. And I’m willing to cheat to win. I’m willing to lose to win. Because I want to see what it takes. I’m going to fuck your brains out, until you have to fall in love with me, because you’re a slave to your dick, and if I own your dick I own you. I own you. You drive out here to see me. You belong to me.

I haven’t learned. I still haven’t learned. You belong to me, fucker. You think you own me when you fuck my face? Think again. I let you fuck me. I give you permission to slide into my mouth. You can’t fuck me without my consent, without my authority. I. fucking. own. you. Because I own me. And you want me. You lose.

[Meta]