I’m listening to heart chakra meditations, trying to pull myself out of bed. I was hoping that my depression from the breakup would be over by the time it was my birthday but I suppose not. I’m going to make the best day of today though and hope that my birthday tomorrow will reveal something…

“The majority of people have blockages in the orange and yellow rays. Sexually, this often manifests as a type of possessive type of love.

I just keep coming back here because I’ve blocked everything else. I’m so fucking bored, wtf. I need to make my work more enjoyable than interacting with people. That’s the ultimate goal. My work has to be preferred over people. Maybe that’s why I like relationships. Existence can be so boring. But I didn’t used…

The ability to be submissive is beyond just submitted to the man in your life, but submitting to life itself. I’ve always had this desire to control the outcome of things, even now, being in a new relationship with this man, and all I think about is how I can “control” it. What steps I…

Admit to yourself that you don’t want to lose them, that you would be sad if they were gone and that you want to be with them. Admit that to yourself and stop telling yourself that you’re stronger without them, they don’t want you to be stronger without them. They want you stronger with them.…

It seems like too much work for no return. My dreams don’t get fulfilled here. Nothing happens. I just talk to this black board. I was trying to speak math in plain English. No markdown, no Latex. It’s an oral exam you know.

You’re going to ask: how did she do it? I was never good at math. That is the secret I kept to myself. I was an imposter. There is no mistake about that. But I was determined. The basis of my trajectory was already laid out for me. I didn’t want to do it. I…