I’ve never thought about it. Not seriously at least. Where will I be in 10 years? Will I still be working at McDonald’s? No. I’m about to leave that job within the next year. Will I be with Captain? I think so. I can’t say with certainty because it’s not as such a closed-ended question as the other. I don’t have as much control. I do think about control a lot. Having it, being under it, submitting to it.
10 years… unfortunately, I’ll still be alive. Make no mistake about it, where this may be heaven to some, this is not heaven to me. Not in the slightest. Yes, there are periods of glimpses of Light, but this isn’t it, because there is still a nagging feeling I have, and it won’t go away.
Okay, see, not only have I not thought about it, I don’t even know how to think about it: my mind went back to the present. That’s somewhat of a good thing, obviously, but with that compulsion to live in the moment I’ve eradicated some part of self-reflection.
Anyway… 10 years I will be with Rick, and that’s all you need to know. Oh yeah, his name is Rick lmfao. I married a goddamn Rick. If you can’t become one, better to fuck one instead.