Daily writing promptWhat do you do to be involved in the community?
Daily writing promptDescribe a positive thing a family member has done for you.
Daily writing promptWhere do you see yourself in 10 years?
I’ve never thought about it. Not seriously at least. Where will I be in 10 years? Will I still be working at McDonald’s? No. I’m about to leave that job within the next year. Will I be with Captain? I think so. I can’t say with certainty because it’s not as such a closed-ended question as the other. I don’t have as much control. I do think about control a lot. Having it, being under it, submitting to it.
10 years… unfortunately, I’ll still be alive. Make no mistake about it, where this may be heaven to some, this is not heaven to me. Not in the slightest. Yes, there are periods of glimpses of Light, but this isn’t it, because there is still a nagging feeling I have, and it won’t go away.
Okay, see, not only have I not thought about it, I don’t even know how to think about it: my mind went back to the present. That’s somewhat of a good thing, obviously, but with that compulsion to live in the moment I’ve eradicated some part of self-reflection.
Anyway… 10 years I will be with Rick, and that’s all you need to know. Oh yeah, his name is Rick lmfao. I married a goddamn Rick. If you can’t become one, better to fuck one instead.
Daily writing promptDescribe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.
Okay, now I get it.
I don’t want him to be happy.
I don’t wanna-
I hate the word even.
Happiness is such a fleeting, stupid, stupid fucking thing to chase after… it’s so annoying.
No, I don’t want him to be happy.
Nope, I’ve decided against that.
I want him to be fucking miserable and suicidal without me.
I want him to want to die.
I want him to feel like that existence is nothing but torture and pain and that everyday that he is awake is another smear on the cosmic world that is what we have.
I want him to hate living so bad that he wants to cut off his own dick.
I want him to hate living so bad that he would rather eat a bowl full of broccoli, covered in salt, drowned in vegan butter… than this.
I hope he’s miserable.
I want nothing to do with him and I want everything to do with him.
I want to stab him in the throat and I also want to hug him.
It’s like I wanna take a knife to his chest and just open it up, that’s how closed off he is.
He needs, like, some sort of lobotomy or something…
surgery… or one thing or another.
And I can say that I need that too!
He says he’s happy?
I don’t fucking believe him!
I hate the word happy;
If he says he’s happy one more time,
I’m going to take that as,
“Blaise, please get me this woman is making me miserable,”
And I will go to wherever he is-
And I will find him-
And I will put him in the trunk of my car.
Because I can’t deal with this.
Why is existence even like this at all?
I don’t get it.
Why do I have to chase after these men like this?
I. love. him.
And I hate even saying the word “love” at this point
Because I don’t know what it is.
Like, I literally…
Don’t know what it is.
And I am at this point.
Where I will take something
And fucking fuck something
And something will
And it will
And it will
And it will
And shrivel in my hands
And then I will eat its parts until it is no longer a physical manifestation of this existence.
Do you get what I’m saying, bro?
I think Jasmine’s turning to a Savage,
It sounds like this bitch wants to